What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down
What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't math teachers drink during the summer? Because they can't teach without their math-lasses!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, and then it hit me
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high... She looked surprised
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I just use my hands
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles!